Restaurant nightmare

February 14th is well known as the quietest night of the year in restaurants. They are packed of course, but with couples who have nothing to say to one another. If you object to muzak but have ever worked in catering, this is the one night of the year when you will bless it rather than curse it. Additionally, it's a night that comes with more expectations than Christmas. For some peculiar reason women expect that fat slob they live with to transform into {insert name of current fantasy (fe)male}  - yes folks, for one night only.

So do it yourself. Since most of our customers are blokes, I say to you now - January at time of writing - cook something. Buy a flower. Try and remember if it's the wife or the girlfriend you are with. And here are some wines to consider sharing. Let Cupid's arrow be the only prick in your relationship.

Now, wine choice. Bien sur Champagne. But Condrieu; or indeed Viognier from a great producer - with its softly exotic flavours and mouthfilling texture has a part in any romantic evening or better, lunchtime. And in a red, again texture is a vital component. You want wines that gently flood and flow.